Friday, February 26, 2010

Working Moms

So since Dana linked me in a post I feel pressured to update my blog.

Ok, this is not one of those working moms vs. stay at home mom posts. I am a working mom. I love my job. It is more than a job... it is a work. However, I work out of necessity. It is a work that I believe if done correctly could have eternal siginifigance. So if I have to work... I want to work where I do. But of course... who wouldn't want to see this face all day everyday of course I do... but I can't.

(no... it isn't always this sweet!)

I would love to be a stay at home mom, but unfortunately that is not the hand I was dealt. It isn't because of decisions Clint or I made. It isn't anyone's business as to why I have to work. Trust me, if we were able for me to stay home, that is where I would be... but we aren't. Don't judge me for information that you don't have about the situation. (Sorry to be harsh here, but it happens and isn't fair.) Not that it is anyone's business, but Wynn wasn't a "planned child." I am so grateful for her, and wouldn't change the way that God gave her to us or when he gave her to us for anything in the world. His wisdom is far greater than mine! (And yours for that matter.) I am greatful my child! She is a blessing. I am grateful for the fact that since I have to work, I am afforded the wonderful opportunity to work at Alabama Christian Academy.

The working/stay at home battle is not one I am going to get into. I am pretty sure most people do the very best they can for their own child. If you are convicted that being a stay at home mom is best for your child... great... stay at home with them. I know some working moms give SAHM's a hard time, and that is just a bunch of junk... you are just as valuable as someone who works outside the home. The whole SAHM have a lack of ambition is a bunch of junk. If you want to do that but can't... you aren't scarring them for life... you are still doing the best you can for them. (This is the group I feel I fit into... and probably empathize most with) If you are a working mom, you are no less fit of a mother. Whether you choose to work or have to work it is fine. As long as you do what is best for YOUR family it is YOUR choice. (And you have all available information about your family... there is often stuff others don't know!) I am so tired of moms feeling like they have to justify themselves and put others down to defend their own choice. As long as you love your kid and do what you really feel is best for them... I have no issues with you.

Anyway... that being said... this last week has been really tough from a working mom standpoint. Not only am I a working mom, but I am a working mom who is also a coaches wife (sorta the same deal as a preacher, youth minister, or anyother really demanding family involvement job). During football season and baseball season... if Wynn is sick, it is up me to take care of it... Clint just can't get off. Anyway, here is how this week has gone...

Sunday afternoon we took Wynn to the playground. We are trying hard to be intentional about family time. So we walked to the park and played and played. Wynn is a huge fan of slides so we spent a long time there...

After we walked back from the playground, I went to the grocery store and Clint took Wynn inside. In the hour it took me to go buy groceries and get home Wynn developed a high fever. From Sunday around 5ish to Wednesday morning her fever stayed between 102-104... This week I think i have had about 20 hours of sleep total (Sunday night through Thursday night.) We had lots of spongebaths... motrin... doctor visits... long week. Monday I stayed home with Wynn. However, due to the fact that she has had H1N1, stomach virus, fever virus, ear infection, and other fun stuff this year... I am low on time off. (Although ACA has a very generous sick leave policy). So after a long visit to the doctor and a lot of blood work... he told me it was a virus... to treat the fever... and wait it out. So, Tuesday, I couldn't take her to her normal hangout lest she infect Juliet with whatever plague was upon her... so I called my wonderful aunt Kathy. It killed me to take my very sick child to someone else to watch. I am pretty sure I called every hour or two. I have one sick day left (I think). I had to go to work. She was very well taken care of... honestly she slept most of the day. Only to be woken for motrin or something to drink. Aunt Kathy has 2 daughters, is a retired kindergarten teacher, and grandmother to 4... she is well qualified to watch my sick child. It isn't that I didn't want to... I cried because I had to. She was still ok. Aunt Kathy has watched her everyday this week since Tuesday. We did finally figure out what was wrong with her due to the rash she broke out with last night.

She has roseola. It is a normal most kids get it at some point. It is characterized by a really high fever followed by a rash. She is fine now... just still a little fussy due to the rash. The fever is now gone. Yes Wynn has been sick a lot this year. No, she is not in daycare. (Not that I am judging those of you who put your kids in daycare... this is another instance where there is info you may not know.) She is with my great friend Hilary and her one year old Juliet during the day. I don't know why she has been sick so much... I don't know if it could have been more if she were in daycare... home with me... never went to sunday school or what. My best guess is that it is because Clint and I both teach at different schools... who knows... We eat lots of super foods (blueberry, strawberry... all that jazz)...

Anway... I don't know how to end this other than to say... I hate the judging of other regardless of situation... as long as you love your kids and make the best decisions you can for YOUR family... and don't judge things you don't know about.


lilsip said...

Good post Jan! I totally agree that moms do the best they can for their kids, in all different sorts of situations. We've been sick a lot this year, too- I think it's just a bad year for germs getting around. She's just developing her little immune system, and it will get better as she gets older, I think. Hope you get some rest!

Lerra said...

Interestingly enough, we had always planned for me to be a SAHM. We have been "planning" for our baby for 3 1/2 years now. So theoretically, we should be totally able for me to stay at home. And yet I'm not. Because God has other plans for me. He gave me a job where I can sort of be a SAHWM. (Stay at home working mom.) I will get to do a little of both, and that is what works for our family. So yes, I agree with you that we have to do what is best for our families! And it's not always what our original plans were, either! :)

So sorry Wynn's been sick. I didn't know. Poor baby. I'm glad she's getting better!

MommieLeigh said...

aww... you're having a tough time on all fronts, eh? BIG hug coming your way! I SOOOO want to see this little princess some time!

Shaunna said...

Jan, I'm SO sorry Wynn's been so sick. You know Grayson has stayed sick on and off since he was a little guy...we just found out he's gluten intolerant and his fevers have finally broken after taking him off of it completely. We are praying this continues to work...not to say this is what's going on with Wynn, but it might be allergy related? We sure will be praying for you and her health..we certainly understand! I'm sorry you're dealing with judgemental stuff! I know your heart and know that you (and other working moms) are raising your children up in the Lord as much as the sahm's out there! Hope you're week is a little better. :)

Kristy said...

Sorry, for Little Wynn. They say the second winter is always a doozy... no matter where your kid spends her time during the day. Addy-girl got tubes this week because of the biology of her ears and eustacian tubes! :) Here's to a warm spring killing all those germs!

Hilary said...

I know it has been such a hard week for you. I've been praying not only for Wynn, but for you too. Love ya, friend.

Lynn Ellis said...

I've done both - been a stay-at-home-mom and a working mom. I'm 55years old and even back then this debate and condemnation was going on. Neither path is easy, and I totally agree with Jan and Dana that EACH FAMILY's decision should be their own. They DO NOT need or want outside help from people who do not walk in their shoes. None of us have the right to inflict our own personal opinions based on our own personal biases on others -that is being judgmental and there is a big price to pay for judging others. Also, that old "Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Hurt Me" is a lie. Sorry that this sounds harsh, but I'm old, this is an old, worn, tired-out argument that I was harrassed about no matter what I did - worked or stayed-home. I hate it that people are still doing the same thing to my girls. I don't want my granddaughters to have to deal with this too. If you are/have been/know anyone who does make unkind comments to working moms or stay-at-home moms, stop this ungodly madness. We are suppose to demonstrate love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to those around us so that they can see Jesus in us. Peace!

myletterstoemily said...

oh sweetie, i feel so bad that someone has
said something that judgmental.

you are obviously a great mom, and i can tell
you after raising five kids and watching
countless stay at home moms go through
their day in mind numbing boredom (their
choice) that your little one knows how much
you love her.

she also can tell you are never bored with
her, that she is always special to you.

that counts for a lot.

i'm just a bit worried about you! you sound
totally sleep deprived and overwhelmed.

you're doing great!!! but don't forget to
take care of yourself.

and don't believe everything you see in
blogworld. i have a suspicion about moms
who record every event of the their
kids think the camera is a mom appendage?

Kiera said...

I"m with you! We've had a couple rough weeks in there too and it is very hard/sad when you have to leave your sick baby to go to work. But we're doing the best we can! We will be praying for yall and warm weather!! :)